Orthodox weddings
The Antiochian Orthodox wedding service
An Antiochian wedding is the Betrothal and the Crowning celebrated largely in English, with Arabic hymnody around the edges and a zaffe outside the doors that no other Orthodox tradition does quite the same way.
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What is different here
The same rite, celebrated this way
Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America, under the Patriarchate of Antioch and All the East.
Of all the Orthodox jurisdictions in North America, the Antiochian Archdiocese was the earliest and most thorough in moving to English, and a visitor is likely to understand every word of an Antiochian wedding without a booklet. The order of the service is unchanged from the Byzantine rite; what has changed is that it is audible.
Like the Greek books, the Antiochian service does not contain the questions of consent. The priest crowns, the sponsor exchanges the crowns, and the couple stand. Where an Antiochian wedding often sounds different is in the chant: much of the hymnography is sung to Byzantine melodies carried into English, and a parish with Arabic-speaking families will usually keep one or two hymns in Arabic, most often at the entrance and at the very end.
The Archdiocese asks that a couple approach the priest at least six months before the intended date. That is not a scheduling convenience. Antiochian parishes take premarital preparation seriously and in most places it is a sequence of real meetings rather than one conversation.
The sponsor, often called the koumbaros or the eshbeen
Antiochian parishes use several words for the same role depending on which community founded the parish. Greek-derived usage gives koumbaros; Arabic-speaking families say eshbeen for the groom’s sponsor and eshbeeneh for the bride’s. The duties are the same: to exchange the rings and the crowns, and to stand behind the couple throughout. The sponsor must be an Orthodox Christian in good standing. In Levantine families the sponsor is frequently an older married couple rather than a single person, and the relationship carries a continuing responsibility for the marriage rather than ending at the reception.
Wreaths or metal crowns, depending on the parish
There is no single Antiochian crown. Parishes founded from Greek practice use stefana joined by a ribbon; parishes shaped by Levantine practice often use closed metal crowns closer to the Slavic type; a number of parishes own both and let the couple choose. Because the Archdiocese draws together communities from Syria, Lebanon, Palestine and a very large body of American converts, the honest answer to what the crowns look like is that it depends on which cupboard the parish opens. Ask to see them. It changes the photographs and it changes whether the sponsor can lift them easily.
The language of the service
English is the working language of the Archdiocese and of most of its weddings. Arabic appears where the parish has the families for it, usually in a hymn at the entrance, in the greeting afterwards, and in whatever the grandmothers say when the couple come out. A minority of parishes keep more, particularly in older communities in Brooklyn, Boston, Detroit and Los Angeles. Unlike some jurisdictions, an Antiochian couple rarely has to negotiate for a service their guests can follow: that is already the default.
Revised Julian for fixed feasts, the Orthodox reckoning for Pascha
The Antiochian Archdiocese keeps the Revised Julian calendar, so the Nativity is on the twenty-fifth of December and the fixed feasts sit where a civil calendar expects them. Pascha follows the Orthodox computation, so Holy Week moves and the spring closure moves with it. One consequence is worth planning around: an Antiochian couple marrying someone from a Julian-calendar family, which in practice usually means a Serbian, Russian or Georgian family, will spend their first December negotiating two Christmases thirteen days apart.
The calendar
When a wedding cannot be held
The closed periods are the general Orthodox ones. The Archdiocese leaves the application of them to the parish priest, who is also the person who can ask the Metropolitan for an exception, so the practical answer is always the one you get from your own priest.
Every list of closed dates is applied by a parish priest, and a bishop can dispense. Treat this as the shape of the year, not as your parish’s answer.
- Great Lent and Holy Week
- The whole of it, moving with Pascha. In a late-Pascha year this can swallow most of April and reach into May, which is exactly the window an American couple is most likely to have picked before speaking to anyone.
- The Nativity Fast
- From the middle of November. Practice varies on how strictly the earlier part of the fast is applied, and this is a genuine difference between parishes rather than a rule you can look up.
- The Dormition Fast, and the fourteenth of September
- The first fortnight of August is closed, and the Elevation of the Cross closes the fourteenth of September. Between them they take the two ends of the late-summer season that would otherwise be ideal.
- The great feasts and their eves
- A wedding is not celebrated on a major feast or on its eve. This rarely affects a Saturday, but it regularly affects a Friday evening that a family wanted for the rehearsal and dinner.
Before the date
What has to be arranged first
The Archdiocese is explicit that the couple should see the priest well before anything is booked, and its parishes generally will not confirm a date until the preparation has begun.
- Six months’ notice
- This is the Archdiocese’s stated expectation rather than a suggestion. It exists so that premarital preparation is not compressed into the fortnight before the wedding.
- Premarital counselling with the priest
- Usually several sessions covering faith, money, children, extended family and conflict. Some parishes add a structured inventory. Couples who expect a formality are often surprised by how substantive this is, and most say afterwards that it was the useful part.
- Proof of Orthodox baptism or chrismation
- From the parish that performed it. Converts received into the Archdiocese produce the record of their chrismation.
- The civil licence, obtained in the right county
- The priest signs it as the officiant. American licences have expiry dates and waiting periods that differ by state, so check the local rule rather than assuming.
- A baptised non-Orthodox spouse, with permission
- Permitted with the blessing of the bishop and with the usual undertaking about the baptism and upbringing of children. A marriage where one party is unbaptised cannot be celebrated as an Orthodox sacrament.
- An ecclesiastical divorce, where there was a previous church marriage
- Granted by the Archdiocese, not by a civil court, and it is a separate process with its own timetable. Begin it first; everything else waits on it.
Around the service
Customs a guest will actually meet
None of these is part of the rite. They belong to the families, the diaspora and the reception, and they are what makes one Orthodox wedding feel unlike another.
The zaffe
A drummed procession that brings the wedding party to the church door or into the reception, with a zaffe band, hand drums, a mizmar and a great deal of noise. It is Levantine rather than liturgical, it is loud enough to be heard down the street, and it is the moment most guests remember. It happens outside the service, never during it.
Zaghareet
The ululation you will hear from the women as the couple emerge. Guests from outside the culture sometimes mistake it for distress. It is celebration, it is a skill, and it is usually the older generation who can still do it properly.
Mabrouk
The word said to the couple and to both families: congratulations, with the sense of blessing rather than luck. The reply is “Allah ybarek feek”, God bless you. Learning the pair of them is the fastest way for an outside guest to be welcomed.
Sugared almonds again, by another name
Mlabas, the Levantine counterpart of the Greek koufeta, handed to guests in ones and twos. The same almond, the same sugar, the same idea, carried by a different diaspora into the same parishes.
A convert-heavy congregation
A large share of Antiochian parishes in North America are majority American convert, and many weddings are between people with no Levantine connection at all. That shapes the day: the customs above appear where the families are there for them, and are simply absent where they are not. Neither version is the compromised one.
The service itself
Read it moment by moment, with the prayers
Antiochian Orthodox parishes celebrate the Betrothal and the Crowning in the order below. Every moment is set out in full on the main page, with the prayer said at that point printed underneath it.
The full service, with every prayerQuestions
Good to know
Is an Antiochian Orthodox wedding in English?
Almost always, yes. The Antiochian Archdiocese moved to English earlier and more completely than any other Orthodox jurisdiction in North America, and a guest should expect to understand the whole service. Arabic usually appears in a hymn or two and in the greetings, and more than that only in the older immigrant parishes.
What is the zaffe and does it happen in church?
The zaffe is a drummed processional that escorts the wedding party, with hand drums, a mizmar and singing. It is a Levantine wedding custom, not part of the Orthodox service, and it happens outside the church doors or at the entrance to the reception. No priest will allow it during the Betrothal or the Crowning, and nobody expects to.
How long before the wedding should we speak to the priest?
At least six months, which is the Archdiocese’s own expectation. The preparation is a real sequence of meetings rather than a single interview, the closed seasons have to be worked around, and if an ecclesiastical divorce is needed that process alone can run for months.
Do Antiochian weddings use Greek stefana or metal crowns?
Both, depending on the parish. Parishes shaped by Greek practice use light wreaths joined by a ribbon; others use closed metal crowns of the Slavic type; some own both. Ask to see what the parish has, because it affects how the crowns are handled during the exchange and how they photograph.
Can an Antiochian Orthodox Christian marry a Protestant in church?
Generally yes, where the other party is a baptised Christian and the bishop gives permission, with the usual undertaking that children will be baptised and raised Orthodox. If the other party is not baptised, the Church cannot celebrate the marriage as a sacrament. Because the answer depends on the case and the diocese, ask the priest at the first meeting rather than at the last.
Is the Antiochian church the same as the Greek Orthodox Church?
They are different jurisdictions in full communion with each other. The Patriarchate of Antioch is one of the ancient patriarchates and its heartland is Syria and Lebanon; the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America belongs to the Ecumenical Patriarchate. An Orthodox Christian from either may be married in the other’s parish, and the service is the same service.
Keep exploring
Related guides
- The Greek Orthodox wedding serviceWhat happens at a Greek Orthodox wedding: stefana, the koumbaros, the closed dates, what the Archdiocese requires and which customs belong to the reception.
- The Orthodox Church in America wedding serviceThe wedding service in the Orthodox Church in America: English, metal crowns, what the OCA teaches about marriage and what a parish asks of a couple.
- Dating in the Antiochian Orthodox traditionWhat the jurisdiction tells you and what it does not, before anybody is planning a wedding.
- The Orthodox wedding service, from beginning to endEvery moment of the rite in order, with the prayers printed in full.
Church: Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America, under the Patriarchate of Antioch and All the East
Reviewed: · Editorial standards
Sources: Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America · St Vladimir’s Orthodox Theological Seminary
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