Orthodox weddings
The Russian Orthodox wedding service
A Russian Orthodox wedding is called venchanie, the crowning, and it is the fullest form of the rite: the questions of consent are asked, the crowns are heavy metal ones held above the couple by their witnesses, and the calendar is the old one.
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What is different here
The same rite, celebrated this way
The Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia and the Patriarchal Parishes in the USA, both under the Moscow Patriarchate.
The Russian books preserve more of the service than anyone else’s, and the two additions are the ones a visitor notices. Before the Crowning begins, the priest addresses the couple and then asks each of them, by name and out loud, whether their will is free and unconstrained and whether they have promised themselves to anyone else. Those questions do not exist in the Greek service at all. They are a canonical inquiry conducted in front of witnesses, and they are the closest thing in Orthodoxy to a public declaration of consent.
The second difference is physical. Russian crowns are large, closed and made of metal, and they are too heavy to sit comfortably on most heads for half an hour. So they are held: two witnesses, the svideteli, stand immediately behind the couple with an arm raised each, holding a crown above a head, for the readings, the cup and the procession. It is genuinely tiring, and a good deal of Russian wedding folklore is about whose arm gave out first.
Church Slavonic carries most of the service in most parishes. It is not Russian, it is the older liturgical language, and a Russian speaker follows it the way an English speaker follows the King James Bible: mostly, with effort, and with a few words that mean something different than they appear to.
Svideteli, the witnesses
Said svee-DYEH-tye-lee
The Russian tradition does not have a single sponsor of the Greek kind. It has two witnesses, one for each spouse, and their job in the service is to hold the crowns. Historically these were the friends who vouched for the couple in the obysk brachny, the formal marriage inquiry a parish conducted before a wedding to establish that there was no impediment, and the register they signed survives in archives as a rather beautiful document. Today the role is closer to best man and maid of honour, with the important difference that the witnesses are doing something for the whole length of the Crowning rather than standing decoratively. They should be Orthodox, and they should be strong enough for the job, which is advice rather than a joke.
Imperial metal crowns, held above the head
A Russian crown is a closed crown of gilt or silvered metal, usually with an icon set into the front — Christ on the groom’s, the Mother of God on the bride’s — and often with a small cross on top. They are modelled on the crowns of rulers and they look it. Because they are weighty and will not stay on modern hair, the normal practice is that the priest touches them to the head at the moment of crowning and the witnesses then hold them aloft. The crowns belong to the church and go back into the cupboard afterwards; unlike Greek stefana, they are not taken home.
The language of the service
Church Slavonic is the default in most ROCOR and Patriarchal parishes, with English used for the Epistle, the Gospel and sometimes the litanies, and with the proportion set by who is in the pews. Parishes in cities with recent immigration from Russia and Ukraine keep more Slavonic; parishes with a long American history or a large convert membership do more in English. A few ROCOR parishes are entirely English-speaking. If half your guests speak neither Slavonic nor Russian, ask for the readings in English and for a printed text; both requests are routine.
The Julian calendar, thirteen days behind the civil one
The Russian Church keeps the old calendar for everything, so the Nativity falls on the twenty-fifth of December by the Church’s reckoning and on the seventh of January by the one on your phone. Every other fixed date shifts by the same thirteen days. For a wedding this has one large consequence: the Nativity Fast, which closes the date, runs to the sixth of January rather than to Christmas Eve, so the entire Western holiday season is closed, including the New Year weekend that a family might otherwise have chosen because everyone can travel. Pascha is on the Orthodox reckoning, as it is everywhere in Orthodoxy.
The calendar
When a wedding cannot be held
Russian practice applies the calendar strictly, and it adds a weekly rule that no other tradition enforces as firmly. Taken together these remove more of the year than most couples expect, and the remaining dates go quickly.
Every list of closed dates is applied by a parish priest, and a bishop can dispense. Treat this as the shape of the year, not as your parish’s answer.
- Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday
- Weddings are not celebrated on the eves of fast days or on the eve of the Liturgy, which removes those three days. Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday are the available ones — and because Saturday is closed, a Russian Orthodox wedding usually happens on a Sunday, which surprises venues and caterers rather more than it surprises the family.
- Great Lent and Holy Week, plus Bright Week
- Closed throughout, and the week after Pascha is closed as well even though it is fast-free, because the whole of Bright Week is kept as one day.
- The Nativity Fast through to Theophany
- From the twenty-eighth of November by the civil calendar until the nineteenth of January. That is nearly two months, and it takes out Christmas, New Year and the whole winter window.
- The Dormition Fast and the Apostles’ Fast
- The Dormition Fast closes the fortnight to the twenty-eighth of August by the civil calendar, and the Apostles’ Fast closes a variable stretch of June ending at the feast of Saints Peter and Paul on the twelfth of July.
- The eves of great feasts, and the two September and August fast days
- The Beheading of St John the Baptist and the Elevation of the Cross each close their own date, which on the old calendar fall on the eleventh of September and the twenty-seventh of September.
Before the date
What has to be arranged first
ROCOR and the Patriarchal Parishes each have their own diocesan procedure, and a parish priest will walk a couple through it. The pattern is consistent even where the forms differ.
- Confession and Communion before the wedding
- Russian practice expects the couple to prepare sacramentally, normally by confessing and receiving Communion shortly before the day. This is stronger here than in some other jurisdictions and it is not treated as optional.
- The blessing of both sets of parents
- Not a canonical requirement but a deeply held custom, and one a Russian family will ask about. The parents bless the couple with icons before they leave for the church — traditionally Christ for the groom and the Mother of God for the bride — and those icons then go into the couple’s home.
- Proof of Orthodox baptism
- From the parish of baptism, or the record of reception for a convert. ROCOR parishes in particular will want this in writing rather than on your word.
- The civil marriage first, in many parishes
- A number of Russian parishes prefer or require the civil registration to be completed before the crowning, which reverses the American assumption that the two happen in one afternoon. Ask; it changes the shape of the day.
- A previous marriage, and the second-marriage rite
- An ecclesiastical divorce is required, and a second marriage is celebrated with a different and noticeably more penitential service. Where one party has been married before and the other has not, the parish decides how the two rites are combined, and the answer is genuinely case by case.
Around the service
Customs a guest will actually meet
None of these is part of the rite. They belong to the families, the diaspora and the reception, and they are what makes one Orthodox wedding feel unlike another.
The rushnik under their feet
A long embroidered cloth is laid on the floor where the couple will stand for the Crowning. There is a persistent folk belief that whoever steps onto it first will lead the household, and in practice somebody always looks down at their shoes at the critical moment. The Church attaches no meaning to it whatsoever, which has never once stopped the aunts from watching.
Bread and salt at the door
The couple are met after the service, usually by the groom’s mother, with a round loaf and a dish of salt. Each takes a piece, dips it, and eats. It is the oldest Slavic gesture of welcome there is and it means that this person now belongs in this house.
Gorko
At the reception, guests shout “gorko” — bitter — and the couple are expected to kiss to sweeten it, while everyone counts aloud. It will happen many times over the evening and there is no way to stop it.
The crowns stay behind
Unlike a Greek couple, a Russian couple go home without their crowns. What they take instead are the two icons their parents blessed them with, which is why so many Russian homes have a paired Christ and Theotokos in the corner that are obviously older than the marriage.
A Sunday wedding
Because Saturday is closed, the reception often runs on a Sunday evening into a Monday that everybody has taken off. Guests travelling from elsewhere should read the invitation carefully rather than assuming the usual weekend shape.
The service itself
Read it moment by moment, with the prayers
Russian Orthodox parishes celebrate the Betrothal and the Crowning in the order below. Every moment is set out in full on the main page, with the prayer said at that point printed underneath it.
The full service, with every prayerQuestions
Good to know
What does venchanie mean?
It is the Russian word for a church wedding, and it comes from venets, a crown. The whole service is named after the crowning rather than after any promise, which is a fair summary of what the Orthodox Church thinks is happening. A civil registration is a different word entirely, brak, and Russian speakers do not confuse the two.
Why are the crowns held above the couple’s heads?
Because Russian crowns are heavy closed metal crowns that will not sit securely. The priest crowns each of them, and the witnesses then hold the crowns aloft for the readings, the common cup and the threefold procession. It takes twenty minutes or more with one arm raised, which is why the witnesses are chosen with some care.
Can you have a Russian Orthodox wedding on a Saturday?
Usually not. Russian practice avoids weddings on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, because they are the eves of the fast days and of the Sunday Liturgy. Sunday is the most common day for a Russian Orthodox wedding in North America. A priest can make an exception, but do not build a venue booking on the assumption that he will.
Why is the Nativity Fast so long in the Russian Church?
The fast itself is forty days, as it is everywhere, but the Russian Church keeps the Julian calendar, so it ends on the sixth of January by the civil reckoning rather than on the twenty-fourth of December. That places the whole Western festive season inside the fast, which is why the winter holidays are not available for a wedding in a Russian parish.
What is the difference between ROCOR and the Patriarchal Parishes for a wedding?
For the service itself, nothing. Both are under the Moscow Patriarchate, both use the same books and the same calendar, and a couple may be married in either. The practical differences are administrative — the diocese the paperwork moves through — and cultural, in that ROCOR parishes often carry a longer emigration history while the Patriarchal Parishes tend to serve more recent arrivals.
Do we have to be married at the registry office first?
In many Russian parishes, yes, or at least it is strongly preferred. This reverses the usual American pattern where the priest signs the licence and the two events are one. Ask early, because it changes the shape of the weekend and what the invitations should say.
Keep exploring
Related guides
- The Serbian Orthodox wedding serviceThe Serbian Orthodox wedding: the kum and kumstvo, the old calendar, the slava a bride takes on, and what a parish asks before it sets a date.
- The Ukrainian Orthodox wedding serviceThe Ukrainian Orthodox wedding: the rushnyk, the korovai, the parental blessing, and a calendar that changed in living memory.
- Dating in the Russian Orthodox traditionWhat the jurisdiction tells you and what it does not, before anybody is planning a wedding.
- The Orthodox wedding service, from beginning to endEvery moment of the rite in order, with the prayers printed in full.
Church: The Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia and the Patriarchal Parishes in the USA, both under the Moscow Patriarchate
Reviewed: · Editorial standards
Sources: Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia · Patriarchal Parishes of the Russian Orthodox Church in the USA · Holy Trinity Monastery, Jordanville
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